Dad's lessons had been planned for a while as something he wanted to do but it was just as well because my Mum had had an accident the previous week and was still recovering. Mum is seventy three and she looks after my great aunt who is ninety nine,as well as doing the cooking, so if Dad could do some it would be a great help. He can make great fish in batter - his Mum's recipe (and she was a great cook), but is otherwise limited to putting things in the oven and basic vegetable preparation etc. We made pork with fennel and vermouth, by and large it went very well and he's looking forward to his next lesson.
My husband can cook but he has a limited repertoire, what he does he does well, he has his signature dish of pork chops with apples and prunes, he is good at cooking steak, and things with mince like bolognese and shepherds pie. If he is in the kitchen, it's his domain and help is not appreciated. I must go and sit down in another room with a glass of wine (oh, the hardship!) and await the results of his efforts. If I try to help, I get a disapproving "Who is cooking this meal? You or me?" He tries very hard not to use to many utensils and not make a mess, according to him using too many pans is a sign of weakness wheras I see it as a sign of creativity. He did once try to cook pasta in the microwave without any water, but that was a very long time ago.
In contrast, one of his brothers who is more into cooking and married to a trained chef really enjoys cooking together with his wife. I've been to their house for a meal and it's like poetry in motion watching them both. Another of his brothers cooks more than his wife, and she seems to like it that way. He is quite adventurous and this year is using a random number generator to choose recipes out of his collection to try new recipes. The third and last of his brothers lives on his own and makes a lot of soups, but is beginning with my encouragement and some books to try new things.
A survey of my facebook friends showed that men often have disasters in the kitchen (leaving the plastic bag of giblets in a chicken, boiling baked beans and simmering for twenty minutes, setting fire to dressing gown sleeves, or even the whole kitchen twice in two weeks), but that they are often very good at bacon sandwiches, curries and mashed potato - I think it's in the arm muscles. And of course, for some reason men are always the kings of the barbecue, even at breakfast time and in the winter!
Men don't often bake, I can't remember my husband ever having a go at anything sweet. In fact, he doesn't really like cake, he'd rather have cheese and wine than afternoon tea. One friend's partner is a brilliant baker though and pictures of his cakes on facebook make my mouth water on a regular basis. One cousin's husband has recently made his first sponge cake since school which was a great success, so maybe they just need to bite the bullet and have a go.
One friend's husband once made her a baked potato with cheese, can you tell from the picture below why she thought it was unacceptable? A little rustic perhaps? What improvements would YOU suggest?
Which finally brings us to the subject of washing up. My husband does not actually get the concept of looking at items to see if they're clean, so I usually do it myself. To be fair, he does his share of other household tasks, so I'm not complaining. Dishwasher loading even, is not always done to my liking and I have to either do it myself or at the very least rearrange it to a, make sure everything fits in and b, it will be clean at the end of the wash cycle. And take things out which I deem to be unsuitable for the dishwasher, it is very much a matter of personal preference as to whether you're precious about your wooden spoons, or not.
As in other aspects of a relationship, one has to find a happy balance in the kitchen, I hope you find it in yours.
Thank you for reading, more soon,
Caroline :-)
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